Monday, August 30, 2010

And so it BEGINS...

"I definitely think you would benefit from losing a few pounds... I mean LOOK at you!! YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!!"

This was from a girl I had just met last week. I mean LITERALLY. We have Child Development together. I was taking her to her job to pick up her paycheck. We ended up having the most intense conversation that I have had in a long time. She actually listened to what I said. ANNNDDD corrected me when I was wrong. I mean I just met this girl!! REALLY?!?!

Then I realized. Why am I shunning her words? They were encouraging. To motivate me to be a better me. To love me. Her words at the end of our conversation was "You need to get a no tolerance level". I was shocked because she could see that from talking to me in less than an hour!!

So what do I LOVE about me? WOW! This was a long time coming... But it needs to be done so that I can accept me and move on to another level. AND YES... Loose weight. Some of these may seem vain but just keep reading... I'll get to the deep stuff...

1. My Hair- I mean it is AH-MAZING!! I am soooo blessed to have it. When people look at me they see that I love it!! It has never, I mean NEVER, been cut my whole life. And recently I thought about layering it. But I thought Y do that? I love it the way that it is. There is a story behind my jet black glossy locks: When my mother was a little girl, she said that often times she would pray to God. She didn't grow up going to church so she didn't know that was what she was doing. But often times she would ask God for things in her small child- like mind. One of those things was... A little girl, with a lot of long beautiful hair that would be soooo prissy. And believe it or not she got what she asked for. HERE I AM!!lol

2. My hands and feet- Now most of you are going REALLY?? YES, really. I mean how many times have u seen women walking and they have horrible looking feet? I had an older brother who had a fetish for feet. He used to tell me that I had to keep my feet nice because how would he look if his sister had terrible feet and he won't even date anyone with ugly feet. Now I know that most women can't help what they are born with. But there is a way to take care of yourself and feet and hands are included. I keep my hands filled-in. If I don't I will have horrible looking hands. And why have that when I can make them look better for $15 every 2 weeks??lol

3. My personality- I mean not many people actually LIKE their personality... I'm like my dad, who is loving and kind, very articulate, hard-working. But then I have qualities that I have learned from my mother. Like generosity, organization, through. Not saying that I use all of them all the time but I do have them. One thing that I have noticed that has happened in the last year or so is from Ma: You can run over me all you want, but you mess with my momma and it is ON!! Well she applies this to me and my brothers. But I'm sure when I have kids then this will be applied to them as

4. Work Ethic- This is a quality that I got from my dad. He always taught us to work if we were ever going to have anything in life. It didn't take with my brothers too much but it did with me. I mean I could be dog sick and still will try to get up and go to work!!lol

5. Appetite- NOW, not many people will admit that they have this. I mean some people even say that they hate food. But I LOVE FOOD. I mean really. Every time I sit down to eat it's like paradise in my mouth.lolI have had people tell me that that is just in my mind. Well if it is then I want to keep it!!

6. My figure- Believe it or not there is a pear shaped figure under all these pounds. I have lost weight before and I have seen it there. But with my love for food came the loss of my figure. But I'm going to get it back. And you all are going to see it. Get ready to be amazed because it is there!!

I kno that this may all sound vain... and this isn't the mind set that I should have... Blah Blah Blah. I'm working on that. I mean less than a year ago I couldn't even come up with these 6 things. I only had the first 2. So I'm well on my way. Hopefully by the end of the year I will have 10. We shall see.

So back to my beginning story. When I look back I understand now. All the crap that I have been taking from people is unacceptable. Letting them exclude me from events. Going on trips without me. Running to me when they need me but not will to be there when I need them. That shows that they don't love the me that I love. And by letting them do this to me (I'm sorry to day) shows that I don't love me either. But that is changing. I have found that I am happier alone than I am with people that don't want me around. I'm back to my talkative sarcastic self and I ain't going NO WHERE!!

"Be beautiful, be loved... LOVE YOURSELF..."

No comments: