Tuesday, March 22, 2011

There's no question this girl's a 10. Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful...

Confidence is when a kid looks at you and says "You have a big belly", you look back and say “I'm still pretty though.” And you BELIEVE it.


This past Saturday my mother and I were at Home Goods (which I love because it’s about home d├ęcor and I could spend HOURS looking for stuff for my home. Don’t believe me?? I have over 10 BOXES of home goods in my parents attic waiting for me to move out :P) and we were looking for sheets. A woman and her daughter (who was no more than 3 years of age) walked by and she said (exact words) “OMG she is fat. OMG you are fat. I’m just making up words.”

(First of all, if you were just MAKING UP WORDS then you wouldn’t say that you are… You had to have heard your mother say those lines. And when you repeated them she qualified them by saying “Oh she’s just making up words”. THIS isn’t about you this is about my revelation that I love myself for the first time in 26 years.)

I didn’t say anything. 

I did what I normally do and went to my mother with my wounded heart and told her what the child said and tried to run. My mother confronted the child and her mother. The child apologized (though crying through a Mississippi River of FAKE tears) and everyone went on their way.

But it hurt. IT HURT. BAD. I’m 26. I thought we were past the age where kids say things like that. I thought I was at the age where I am seen as an adult so saying things like that is a No No!!

But that isn’t the end… No my lovelies. It is not.

That night we went to a restaurant. Mind you it was a buffet. My family doesn’t frequent these places. Not because of what we will look like but because we eat too much and we don’t like the way we feel after we eat that much. (I’m telling you. I could stay skinny if I didn’t already have 200 extra lbs on my body… And yes I said it b/c I can be honest with you and more importantly ME and say that it’s there.) But we had decided to go there b/c sometimes we just have that knack. So we went. When we got there and sat down another woman, her husband, daughter and her boyfriend sat down to have dinner. When they visited the buffet they came back. The mother took one look back and commenced to talking about my mother and I.

Now I am not the type of person that will cause confrontation. I will give you everything I have in my possession before I will fight you. My mother is the EXACT opposite. The boyfriend was trying so hard to fit in that he kept looking at us and laughing. As soon as my mom stared him down he went into uncomfortable zone. Fidgeting in his seat. Looking everywhere but at us, or even the people at his own table. (Even though this woman gets up and she looks like she is 60 but is probably only 45, she coughed and sounded like she extracted a lung right at the table, her teeth were so bad I have no CLUE how she was able to eat her food without swallowing clumps of tobacco. But it’s not about her either.) My mother invited her to our church and everyone went on their way.

I still didn’t say anything…

and it STILL hurt…

It was not until that little 8 year old girl that was in my mentoring center today looked at me and said “You have a BIG BELLY.” was I able to say “but guess what?? I’m pretty though.”
I walked out of that place feeling better than I have in all of my life. Why you ask? Because I didn’t run and hide like a little kid. I stood up for myself. I gave ME a chance. Because I finally appreciate myself for what I have to offer. What I can give. What has been given to me. So what if I have a BIG BELLY… I can fix that. You can fix an ugly face, or a mean personality.

I had an older brother. He died of a heart attack a month before his 21st birthday. He was a good looking guy, heavy, and could sing like a mockingbird. But one thing that he always said “yeah… I’m big. But I’m pretty though.” I never understood how he could say or think that until now.

I keep myself clean, most big people I know don’t. I keep my hair done; most women I know only know about 3 hairstyles that they rotate. I have beautiful hair, skin, and nails. Though they are small they mean a lot when you see them on a voluptuous woman. I am a woman. A great woman. 

Like my mother always said “You need to love yourself because if you don’t then no one else will.”

Here is a song for all my pretties... Sorry for no pics. I need a new camera. :/

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Geeez Louise...

My My Ladies...
It has been a minute since I have greeted you so....



Things around these parts have been crazy and hectic. I have been remodeling my room AND attempting to keep my grades up... We shall see how they BOTH go when I go back to school from spring break.. YES... Spring break the 2nd week of March. But like I care I needed to catch up anyway :D

But anywhooo I come to you for a very serious matter...

Who wants $20??

I know I do!! I don't care if it's only half a tank of gas now (really I about PASSED out when I went to the pump last night) I WANT IT!!!

This one is more specific though... It's with eShakti. You have all seen my review of the dress that I got from them here. Well now they have given me my own personal code- Shani626. And guess what?? I can share it with you!!! Perks of always buying clothes I guess ;)

Here are some of the great dresses that they have for Spring 2011

Note that for all of their dresses you have the option to buy them by size or custom make them to your body for a small fee. There are other options that you can select like the dress length, sleeve type and length and neckline. But these features aren't available for all of their dresses.

HAPPY SHOPPING my lovies!! 'Til next time...

God Speed!!