30 Days of ME!! Day 12...

Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one


Well... I was looking at a website and they had a page where people were reviewing the items that they had bought clothing from them. I decided to check out some of their styles and I liked a lot of them. So I was clicking through a lot of different pages. Then I thought "HEY. I can start a blog so that I can get through some of this emotional crap. And keep a "log" of how my style has improved." Well... both of those topics aren't really coming true at the moment... But we'll keep trying...lol

30 Days of ME!! Day 11...

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends


Well... Seeing that my friends and I no longer take group pics again... Here we are!!


This is Katie Mac and I... and the big head in the background is her boyfriend and my "brother" Philip. He's a clown... Good thing you can't see his whole face!!lol

My dear friends Celia and I... She's pretty hilarious too...

Actually I have to correct that... ALL of my friends are hilarious. If they weren't then they wouldn't be my friends...lol

30 Days of ME!! Day 10...

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad


Well... I don't really have music that I listen to for a particular mood.lol I just listen to it all!! I'll try to pinpoint some of my songs with each emotion though.


Happy- Basically anything that keeps me happy :) Which is a lot...





Sad- Usually I'm sad about a love lost... So my sad songs are sappy love songs...lol





Bored-With bored it's anything that will get me to dance. Up and moving... Like this...





Hyped- I don't have one particular song for this. I mean when I'm hyped I listen to a lot of stuff. Luda, Alica, Beyonce, then Christina and even a bit of Florence and the Machine... OOO... Hold on... here's a good one!!





Mad- Don't ever forget... What goes around comes back around... Like my mom says, "you will need me before I need you".

30 Days of ME!! Day 8...

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why


Ok... Soooo... I know I like REALLY fell off the wagon with the posts but I'm back now. I decided to skip day 7 because there are alot of things/ people that inspire me. I don't have one person that has made a tremendous impact on my life but my mom and I don't have any more pics of her...lol She hates taking pics. So I decided to jump to day 8 and go from there...


My short term goals are: get through ECC without being completely broke, pass all of my classes with at least a B and get a new car!!


Goal #1: What is ECC you ask?? ECC stand for East Coast Conference. This is an annual conference that my church hosts and people from all over the East come for inspiring and spritually uplifting services. Now the "broke" part. Though this is a church conference you see people that you normally wouldn't see because they are from other areas. Therefore it is important that you put your best foot forward as far as looks are concerned. For single women this means that you could possibly be meeting your future husband here. So because I have been wearing the same type of clothing all the time I decided to go against my usual attitude and get all new outfits. I usually just wear what I have but I wanted to do something different. So I ordered a dress from Eshakti.com (which I can't wait for it to get here!! I'll post pics when I do get it) and bought some other pieces to kind of shake up my normal routine... So hopefully I didn't over kill myself :).


Goal #2: Pass all of my classes with at least a B. This is really important to me because it has never happened before. I have always had atleast one grade below a B and I want to make the Dean's list this semester! I am finally taking classes in my major and it is important that I do my best in all my classes...


Goal #3: Now this one is getting a new car... Let me tell ya'll... I have a car now... OMG I am SOOOO sick of it!! And every week something else falls apart. I am much like my mama and if something breaks it's time to get a new one. The car I have is just about paid off and I can't WAIT til I can get another one!!! I'm looking at the Ford Flex. But I have a few concerns. I haven't heard anything bad about Ford but I have heard better things about GMC and chevy. Plus I want to get something foreign. Like a Scion. They seem to last longer. But I don't really know. That's the vain part of me coming out. 


I have drooled on these...

But with my part-time college student salary, it's not possible...lol

Not sure why but I have found myself drawn to the two tone colored ones...lol

But not any crazy colors... We will stick to the basics ;)

I'm pretty sure if I was to get one it would have a white top and black bottom, tinted windows and black rims... The shinny ones ;)

Yes, Heaven has come to earth... In the form of the Ford Flex. I'm def getting one now!!lol

Pick *me*. Choose *me*. Love *me*...

Sitting 'shot gun" in the van, she watches as what was her "best friend" gets into the other van with the man that makes the heart inside beat faster... Sit behind him and flash an award winning smile at a comment he makes... "that should be ME" she thinks. Coming back to the present and trying to make THIS trip tthe best trip she has ever made... But knowing that his eye is on someone else makes her sink back into the shadows and doubt the reason why she came...


I had a friend ask me... "Why don't you just tell him? Just be like. 'Hey. I have found myself attracted to you and even if you don't feel the same, I understand. I just wanted you to know.'" Do you know what my response was? "I don't want to do that because every time that I have done that in the past I have lost friendships. I don't want him being nice and me seeing something that isn't there get in between another good friendship. Even if I told him I KNOW he won't like me romantically."


 The next thing that she said to me has almost made me cry and sitting here thinking about it makes me want to cry again...


"When is NIKKI going to get it in her head that NIKKI is a good person to get to know? That NIKKI is a good person to love? That NIKKI has a lot of love to give and any guy would be lucky to have her??"


I know that insecurities are often what push guys away. But what happened to the guys that will push past the insecurities because they really want to get to know a girl?? I don't want to be the girl that falls for any guy that looks at her. But every time a guy is nice I seem to think "What if he likes me??" You know what the afore mentioned friend (Who also happens to be my manager at work) said "SO what?? What if he does?? You say that you don't want to be alone. If he was to like you what would you do then?"


Okayyyy.... I forgot where I was going with this... One moment please....


Ummmm... Ok... When she asked me that I got TOTALLY freaked out. Scared. Like palms sweaty and knees weak...


So how do I get past the insecurities?? Tell myself I am worthy of love too?? How do I stop letting everyone else have the man that I want and finally have the one that I want?


People are always telling me to wait. "Oh, He will be here when you are ready" or "There is someone for everyone. He'll be here soon." BUT I'M 25!!! I'm tired of waiting!! Then when I think about him, it scares me to pieces. I don't want to believe that someone may want to be with me then loose them. I came close to that one time and it about did me in.


So what do I do?? Look in the mirror everyday and say "I am good enough to love"? This is so confusing...And this whole blogging thing is sad because it's supposed to be therapeutic and it's not really working yet...


Keyword: YET


(Looking in the mirror) "You are worthy of Love"... Didn't really work that time but will keep trying... (shrugs)

30 Days of ME!! Day 6...

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why


haha!! This one is going to be hard!! I don't really have a favorite superhero. But if I had to think of one I guess it would be Rogue. Can't she change into whatever super power by just touching a mutant?? Not sure... But I do know she has this awesome gray streak in the front of her hair. I don't know why I like it but I do... It looks really cool!!lol

This is the girl that played Rogue in all the X-Men movies and I don't know why but the gray was pretty on her... Or maybe it Platinum White??

30 Days of ME!! Day 5...

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

I have mostly only been to the beach. Wrightsville, Myrtle, and Carolina... I know it's sad... I have to get to more places when I graduate...lol

30 Days of ME!! Day 4...

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have.


Letting my insecurities get the best of me. I mean it's not like I'm a bad person. It's just that whenever someone is around, I often times let people have better than me. I do want the best for me, but often times I feel like I don't deserve them. Perfect example, I went to the beach this past Saturday. And there was a friend there that I have thought was better than me in some areas. So because of that I spent most of the day reserved and on my own. I even lashed out at someone when they were trying to get me out of that shell and it wasn't necessary. I felt bad and ended up apologizing to him but still... There are many times that I just fall back into the shadows. And if I keep doing that then I won't have what I want in life because I'm not going after it. 


Here's some pics from the trip to Wrightsville Beach, NC.

This is the whole group minus the leader and another lady that drove a van.

This is most of the ladies. We were watching a Indian family play soccer on the beach. The little girls were no older than 6 and were TOO cute!!lol

Me, Wambui and Karen with our feet in the water... Though it is October it was VERY warm and the water felt so good!!

Overall it was a really good trip! I love going to the beach no matter what time of year it is!!

30 Days of Me!!!! Day 3...

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

This is my dear love Leah... She is wonderful...Winter 2010

Teri... My sunshine!! She really is a happy person all the time... Even though she may not look like it here...lol (Summer 2010)

And last but not least my bestest... Kimberly Cates AKA Mama... She is the bestest!! We hardly ever take pictures together... This one was like 7-8 years ago...lol But she is STILL beautiful!!

I have to say that I have some amazing friends... I don't have pics of them all these are just a few. The ones that are still here have been with me through a lot... and not one time have they tried to make me seem like less of a person... I love them all!! MWAHHH!!!lols

30 Days of ME!! Day 2...

Day 02- The meaning behind your Blog name

Sooo.... Well first my blog was named "Blackblonde Fatshionista". But my mom said that I wasn't really a black blonde anymore so I was wondering what to put on here... So I thought about how fabulous I am and I want it to shine from me so that everyone can see it... Therefore the name...lol

30 Days of ME!! Day 1...

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.


GREETINGS!! This maybe easy...lol

1. I LOVE JESUS!! (Just in case ya'll didn't know... We have a MAJOR love affair going on here...lol)
2. I LOVE to shop... I mean in the past I have done it because it was neccesary but now I actually LOVE it...
3. In the last month or so I have come to enjoy being single... There is nothing like it...
4. I have a thing for men's hair... So if you have bad hair... we can be friends...
5. I fall asleep on my stomach, toes hanging off the bottom of the bed and my arms under my pillow... If you ever want me to get up and I don't move from this position just know I will not be getting up anytime soon...lol
6. My favorite food is chicken... I literally eat some type of chicken everyday...
7. I have amazing face, feet and hands... I can accessorize them with anything and it will look good...
8. I am good with my hair... When I was 14 my mom told me that I had to curl my hair everyday for school for a week and I did... After that I have just been able to take a hairdo (and sometimes a few instructions) and do it in my own hair...
9. I am the youngest of 3 children... and the most spoiled...(obviously!!)
10. I go to Peace College and LOVE IT!!
11. My mom is my best friend... Really!! You'll see why on my post tomorrow...
12. Being around children can change my whole attitude...
13. My car is breaking down as I type and I am DYING to get a SUV...
14. The largest purchase I have made in my life was my computer...
15. I do not like okra and sweet tea... and YES, I am from the south!!

SO... I am done here... Holla!!

30 Days of ME!!

Soooo..... I found this on "the Life, the Love, the Laughs, and the Iza"s blog... Her name is Iza. She's doing this and I thought it would be good to do this myself... I was going to wait til the beginning of November but knowing how forgetful I am I decided to start today!! Being I love random things... It maybe hard for me to get stuff on here every day but we shall see!!
Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your Blog name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Your favorite song

If this seems vain to you... Get over it and go read someone else's blog... I'm having fun talking about ME!!lol

Ultimate "SWAG" Giveaway!

GREETINGS!!!!

I know it has been FOREVER since I have posted something on here but I wanted to let you all know of a give away that one of the girls I am following is doing. Her name is Monique and her blog is Curves and Chaos. Check out what all she is giving away Here. And follow her. She has a really good and informative blog!

Other than that... Life has been so crazy!! I started school and though I am still checking out everyone's blogs, I don't have time to actually write anything myself. My clothing hasn't been of the best quality because i haven't been getting a lot of sleep. So whenever it is I promise I will show what's HAP-nin!!lol

Thanks to you all that are following me!! Hopefully in a little while I can have a giveaway to get more followers!!!
We shall see....

Til next time,
Love, Peace, and Fabulosity!!